Hi, Shay the Millenial writing here.
Let's be real for a moment. We as a generation were not fully prepared to be adults. We were not given an economy that would support us. We did not fully grasp the concept of paying for college, and the debt that would ensue just to have the housing market crash and then skyrocket. For rights for humans plummet, and healthcare nowhere to be found. Being a Millennial is kinda... well shitty at times.
The crazy thing is, you can look up stats about how Millenials have it so tricky compared to the surrounding generations. Maybe it's our depression, maybe it's trauma from our parents, or maybe it is just Maybelline.
I remember the first time I walked into a therapist's office. I was 8, my parents had just gotten a divorce, we moved to a new country, and I was NOT adapting in a healthy manner. I was angry (as angry as any child could be). There was a sand garden I would play with, and papers I could colour on. I remember the soft soothing voice of the lady who was awkwardly trying to get me to open up. As if talking about my feelings would change the fact that I was separated from my dad, in a different country, and basically feeling abandoned.
Then Jr. High came and I was always asked by the school counselor to come and visit, (like way too often) but I did not want to. I didn't want to be "That" girl. So I wasn't. I created a facade that could pass as fun, happy, and worthy of love then I put my self-care on the farthest back burner I could and left it there.
Let's Zip ahead to 21.
I finally found the strength to get out of a very tumultuous relationship that I allowed to drag on for way too long. I had a well-paying job that I loved, I was in school ready to finish my Criminal Psychology degree and work for the Canadian government talking to bad guys, and I wanted to make the world a better place. My University professor spent so much time working with me, and helping me become the best agent I could be. I knew I would be great. Then... we started talking about family.... in school, it took me aback. I remember thinking to myself I didn't NEED to deal because nothing was CURRENTLY bothering me.
Luckily this professor saw right past my bullshit and more so, saw right through me. It was then that I started having a good experience with therapy. I started EMDR to help deal with my trauma. I started making progress! (YAY!) Then life happened and I did what I do best, I ran away. Stopped coping for a little bit, and I returned to a very hurt and angry place. I was a victim of circumstance and I took too much blame for the people around me. I naturally assumed that things were my fault, and that reality wasn't as real as I thought it was. Living from that hurt inner child place was not healthy for me, or the people around me, and it sure as hell isn't fair to the future self that I wanted to be.
Blah blah blah.
Then
Sickness happened..
I almost died.. .
Blah blah. We've heard my story. But what you don't know is how many hours since that I've spent in therapy. How many times I've adjusted, found new people, worked, and FOUGHT for my mental health. The deconstruction of my world beliefs, and the construction of my self-respect. It's exhausting. Sometimes it feels like a full-time job. Acknowledging emotions does not come naturally to me, living in the mindset of "I can do it alone, and emotions are weakness" took a toll on my soul, and I knew I needed to change. How did I do it? Practice.
I think many can empathize with the statement that our parents did the best they could with what they had, but we all seemed to get a little bulldozed. How did I work on healing my inner child? Practice.
We grew up with "Boys will be boys" and "don't act like a girl" how did I start to cope in a world where my place seems questioned simply because of a reproduction organ? Practice. Self grace, and practice.
We often heard "If you're crying I'll give you something to cry about" or "listening to your stories are draining to me, come back if you have a problem". How did I stop having that same cycle of thought? Practice.
Our collective inner children grew up thinking that we weren't as important as something else. This type of self-talk created how we talk to and about ourselves, and often how we see the world now. In a sense, you can see when adults are acting out of a place of their inner hurt child. They may say things like "You get what you get" or "I've been like this for 40 years why would I change now"
But that's that whole point. CHANGE. Stopping generational trauma. It's like morphing and seeing different versions of yourself is what this whole life is about. Why not dig deeper, question your beliefs, and be REAL with yourself.
Yes.. we as millenials all may struggle with crippling depression, have more pets than kids, and switch careers like they are underwear.. BUT we are doing something incredible. I call it the therapy movement. We GET IT. We get that we can't fight this alone, and we understand that mental health is important. We as a generation are taking down gender stereotypes, dealing with our childhood traumas, and deciding to be real with ourselves and those around us. We are accepting, loving, and open-minded. We fight for the little guys, and we try to pass our stories on.
Older generations may say it's "sharing dirty laundry" or "being too open" but when you think about it... is there really such a thing as being too open? As if the more people get to know and love you the less valuable it is? I'm calling bullshit on it.
I want to see you and hear you. I want to learn what made you, you. What life events impacted you to your core, and what's your favourite way to destress. We as humans CRAVE connection, but if you are not connected to yourself how do you expect other people to dig deep and connect with you? Maybe just maybe it'll help you on your path of self-discovery.
Share away lovely, because YOU are worth knowing.
